How to influence others without manipulating them?
That is why today I want to provide you with a snippet of the essence of the issue of social impact. I have learned and applied these simple principles for ten years, but still cannot believe how useful they are in daily work. Besides, I’ll let you judge for yourself… Read this article to the end, apply what you have learned and come back to share your experience! I have no doubts about the benefits you will derive from all interactions, whether professional or private. Without further ado, this is the first principle of influence.
1. Social influence is closely linked to empathy (Logical Appeals)
Have you noticed unnecessary criticism in interpersonal relationships? In 99% of cases, human beings believe themselves to be innocent, whatever the situation, their responsibilities are shared, their faults.
It all has to do with self-esteem and self-protection. The person criticized finds himself in a defensive state and considers that it is necessary to defend himself, even if it means showing wickedness …
In sales, we will see this phenomenon when we deal with objections.
It’s a phrase from Lincoln, full of common sense, but seldom applied in everyday life: “If you don’t want to be judged, don’t judge.
This great man knew from experience that blame, grievance and accusation are all in vain. Therefore, before you want to change others, start by changing your own mindset and way of thinking.
Influencing others will be more effective and productive.
Some Common Sense Quotes to Increase Your Influence
“When your threshold is messy, don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof”
So when it comes to influencing someone, don’t criticize, don’t condemn others, don’t complain!
This is another example that I find interesting, an iconic figure is very clear about the power of empathy and the impact of criticism on interpersonal relationships. You just have to look at his background and his achievements to be sure … Do you know what his motto is?
“I don’t want to criticize anyone… I mean the strengths of everyone I know.”
Because anyone can complain and blame. It’s so easy to criticize and condemn the actions of others because we all make mistakes.
But understanding and forgiveness require greatness and self-control. We all tend to judge others based on our frame of reference and the height of our experience.
However, think about how long it took you to build yourself up and the cost of an error in judgment. Hope this will make you more tolerant of others.
Instead of condemning people, try to understand them. This is the first key that affects interpersonal relationships.
2. You wish to Influencing Someone by Compliment the other person honestly and sincerely (Emotional Appeals)
The only way to get a person to do something is to make them want to do it. So, you are probably going to ask me how to arouse this desire?
Sigmund Freud claims that all human actions stem from 2 basic desires:
- Sexual desire
- The desire to be recognized
This is a bit trivial (unimportant), but it is very instructive for understanding what is to follow.
Dale Carnegie has grouped all of our needs into 8 categories:
1. Health and life conservation
2. The food
3. The sleep
4. The money and the goods it provides
5. The future survival
6. Sexual satisfaction
7. The happiness of our children
8. The feeling of our importance
In this case, it is the latter the most important, because he is never completely satisfied.
“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
Unconsciously, every human being displays the desire to assert their importance on a daily basis through their most mundane acts. It is therefore by encouraging the individual that we awaken and develop their potential.
This is the basis of any influencing strategy!
We always see the good from afar and the flaw up close, right? While the exact opposite should be done … and any manager worth his salt will confirm it to you.
You can’t imagine the power of self-confidence! Praise, consideration and encouragement are vital needs, just as important as hunger.
Of course, avoid faking or flattering, but instead try to spontaneously compliment when the opportunity presents itself. It’s that simple…
Observe what others are doing well and tell them, just do justice to the merits of others.
“Every man is superior to me in some way and I learn from him”
You just need to be an observer and do the same! It makes people want to give you their best.
This is truly one of the fundamental principles of business management. We always start by evoking the positive points before announcing the areas for improvement when we want to positively influence a salesperson in training!
3. Awaken a burning desire in the one you wish to influence by cooperative approach
In the world we live in, everyone is focused on themselves, their needs, wants and aspirations. If you want to influence someone, then talk to them about what they want and show them how they can get it!
This will give you his undivided attention.
The first step in influencing others is to arouse a burning desire in them. And talking about yourself is definitely not the way to do it.
“The secret to success, if there is one, is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see things from your perspective as much as your own”
This is why top sellers tell you about the benefits YOU get from using the product, not the many features of the device. The impact is immediate!
“The man who can put himself in other people’s shoes, who can understand the mechanism of their thoughts, does not have to worry about what the future holds”
Owen D. Young
These 3 fundamental principles of social influence have radically changed my approach to human relations and business. I sincerely hope the same will be true for you!